Deletives Expleted

Most current swearwords were minted in ancient times when the knowlege and ontology of anatomy were crude at best.  Professor Coco (of the Chair of Kanine Kryptopruriency at Aberdeen University) and I have recently determined that suggesting someone should 'stick their greater trochanter up their foramen magnum', would most likely these days cause little more than mild frosting of the recipient's lacrimal canaliculi.

Some of Coco's greatest achievements, though, expose the rich seaminess underlying much of today's poverty-stricken kakolalepithesiology.  For example, the keen ear might discern some 'flechy-frast' fellow muttering to a random 'smakidronty trunterbotty', "Hah - you're well clack-frindled, fuzd ploppet that you are. Uppra junnst!!"

Well, but it wouldn't take a particularly vacuous sprinjonsteron (sez Coco) to tell a 'myucker' from a 'stackled nyard', or a 'fronzpleck' from a 'brattchspock'.  These would be at the level of a 'minish-brutie' out on the ran-dan on their first 'trockle-jim', probably looking for a 'fluurt'.

Sad to say, none of these considerations bring us any closer to discovering the meaning of the truculent yet hauntingly arcane Fraserburgh phrase, "Hemmen, awa ye radge!"  Nor, we fear, can any of the epithets mentioned above out-stottlefrosk the 'scamscunner weezli' of a 'flegphoner'.  We refer of course to that disgusting expression 'Cold Caller'.

Yours etc,

Dr. Dx